Let it go

When it blinds you

It can only disturb your view
The containment of feelings is only in the mind
And when spoken it can only be heard by your heart
So let it go

Let your mind remind you of who you are

Let your soul be heard in words
In the process of humanity
Being in contest with your inner being
How your life could be like with all those words not spoken
Let it go

It will only hurt you from within

When your blood flows nonstop and you know right there
That your body can only handle that much
It could only be your downfall
With every mental thought taken into consideration
Every time you scream, you wish to be heard
When it counts the most, it is when words are shared in tears
Let it go

Because tomorrow never speaks

Without today being sold
Let it go
With every line I write
With every emotion that comes with it
I try, I try
All of the efforts are taken for granted
You know this is no piece
Nor is it the sound of my thoughts being tested
Through my heartbeat
I am going to try, I am going to try
And let it go

How do I say what I feel without being trapped in my own being?

Being the symbol of hurt and pain
Let it go and breathe slowly
My vision is blur
My eyes are heavy
Every step I take I wish it was in the opposite direction
And maybe I can scream and be heard the first time
Let the walls absorb my tears
And the floors sleep on my spirit
Let the roof pain on me to open my door and let it slip out

It can only get better

Not in time and not in healings
But right now
Let it go
Let it go before it is too late…

Love, love love

Love

Love is unfair

Love is unkind

Love is strong

And yet love is weak

Love is profound

Love is deep

Love is complex

Simplicity is in the thoughts

Love is direction

Yet without a route

It is talk from within

And short from the outside

Love is words

Said and unsaid

Love strains on feelings

And it could also lift you up

Love is slow

So patience is a virtue

Love pierces spots that has no name to them

Love is a symbol

Love has courage

Love, love love

Where would we be without it?

Given to the right person it will bring you happiness

Love is still full of stress

And it is just a word

Given the actions from one

Love becomes a galaxy on its own

It is love amalgamated with thoughts and actions.

i will not

 

I will not,

I will not let my future be abolished today

I will not wake up to see you cry

 

I will not scream if my words will not be heard

I will not listen to Zuma if his words mean nothing to him

I will not stand if the ground beneath my feet is missing

 

I will not let my heart beat for anyone else besides you

I will not burn my history because it bought me here

I will not waste my time with things and people that will not help me grow

 

I will not look at life like you do, clearly we are different people

I will not walk if it has no ending

I will not describe life to elaborate on science

 

I will not,

Promise you I will not

I will not.

Who am i? Blank....

Where are my thoughts?
Where are my words?
Where is the reality to not seeing anything?

It is blank but yet there is enough space
The drums I hear, but from where I ask?
The ground is shaking and I can feel the dancers,
Where are they?
It’s drizzling but not rain
My mind is dripping
How do I keep sane?

The darkness has perished
Yet, the light I cannot see
It is blank
My knees are heavy as my shoulders are narrow
Reality is far and the present is tomorrow like it was yesterday
How do I structure it?

I should be proud of what?
Because I feel blank
I am blank
In height and dreams
My wishes are sold to the highest bidder
What is the price?

I am surrounded by silence
Tension a knife will not work to cut
It possess powers not known to men
I am blank and yet I scream fulfillment
I scream to be whole from inside

I am hollow and no walls can be touched

As I stand in the middle of nowhere
My pen is full of ink
My paper is blank
What do I write and where do I find it?
A conclusion could only mean the removal of being blank
I am folded inside out
What you see is actually my inside

I could cry but have no reason to

I have nothing to cry for
My feelings are blurry and my eyes are shallow
Who do I follow as I stand it the mist of confusion?
I am blank and it is not a mistake

I need to rewrite this

Fill it with thoughts and words that represent who I am
Shit, who am I?
Oh I remember
I AM BLANK!

My inner space

So clear and unoccupied
My emotions flow free
I glow internally with no roots
But I am a tree
From the inside I can feel
The sound of the beat in my inner space echoes
With vibrations and with that I heal
I see brightness
The opposite of what my space should be

Blank cards in this game I deal

This space is so small
Yet I fit six minds
With two rhymes in each different kind
Deep and hollow travelling through
Towards the darkness of tomorrow
I pray to God that you don’t follow
On the walls all is written in sorrow

My inner space is the carrier of all my fears

In these thoughts my future is seen
All parts of my mind I’ve been
And still I treasure my inner space
Where originality is pure
Power to my conscious for sure
Clarity blinds me
I’ll donate my heartbeat to charity
This space is all that I am and more
All because it is my inner space
Look through my windows

Time heals

They say time heals

I say time contains
The pain is inevitable and sinks deep
Time heals they say

Take today in your hurt

Feel your gut cluster
Your heart beating slow
Your mind raising
Because tomorrow you will forget
Tomorrow you will understand
Time heals

In the future where pain is absent
Where your blood will be flowing steady
Your soul will remember
That time heals
The hurt will be gone
But the scar will remain
No doctor will fix nor prescribe
It depends on time
Time that will relieve you of that hurt
Time heals

No matter how deep the feeling is

No matter how narrow your mind seems
No matter how strong the punch was
Time will tic and toc
The pain engulfs your entire being
Look at the time
It will keep you sane
Far from what you’re seeing
Time will heal

No need to plaster

The core of it will be determined by the nights and days
Accept it
Believe in it
Speak of it
Think hard about it
And your mind will walk the pages
The words you utter will stick and will not change
Because it does heal

Time heals

Time heals
Yes I said it
Time heals.

The road less travelled

We tend to know the roads to use
We always forget to check for others
A road that is not used
We spend our time trying to figure out what’s it like at the end
The end of the road
We forget to find a way to that end of the road

We know the grass is green right here

But we listen to people who say
It is always greener on the other side
We forget to water the grass we have at our disposal

We know it takes hard work to see a better future

Yet we pray hard to God to provide
When we should be doing something about what we have

We know kids are the future but we don’t take care of them

The road we need to travel more is the road of solutions
Not problems
We know we have to be safe and yet we test fate
To see if the warnings are true

When we should be taking care of ourselves

This road less used actually has all the answers
It would decrease the complaints we have
Use this road more for a better understanding of your life

I wrote you a poem

It took me a while to write it
It has all the words that came from my heart
I wrote you a poem
Telling you how beautiful you are
How you make me feel
I smile just by spelling your name
I wrote you a poem

In it I am telling you how much I love you

How you complete me
I think it is still missing some words
Concurrently to me thinking,
The heartbeat, I love you with everything I am
From the core of my soul to the depth of my spirit
I wrote you a poem

Using a pencil because you drive so crazy

I didn’t want to run out of ink
This piece is long but I don’t know if it is on point
I just smiled
I wrote you a poem titled “you”
It is my way of saying thank you
But I don’t know if I should let you read it

“You” was a perfect title

Beautiful, unified, sane, intellectual
Oh “you”
I wrote you a poem
I wrote you a poem

I screamed from within with words piercing through the air

Trying to find you
I wrote you a poem
I wrote you a poem

No need to have you read it

Because you just did
“YOU”

i am dying inside

No resurrection coming to life

The depth of my emptiness is written on these walls
I am dying inside
A very slow death
It surpasses even prison walls
The hollow feeling that echoes sweet nothings
I am dying inside

The element of no meaning has grown to the surface

It’s like an erupting volcano
I am dying inside
And there is no need to cry
All rivers and oceans are filled with tears
I am dying inside with hope
I am dying with no way out

The thoughts that consume me

They feed of my pain in a small room filled with nothing
I am dying inside and the battle is still on
All questions were still put to life
I am dying inside and I really want to live
I really want to matter
In the mist of it all
The wrath of all sores and all the pains
I still want to live
But I am dying inside

When I feel my heart lose meaning and all purpose

The reality still strikes like a lightning bald
I am dying inside
The path was set but no one walked on it
The outcome was never death even figuratively
The joy that went missing during the times of no point
I am dying inside
And I don’t know what to make of it
I don’t know how to relive
Revive and save my inside that is burning
I am dying inside metaphorically and literally

I know the irony is clear

Nights have become days
Where my mind is wide awake
And my days have become nights
Where I walk around dead all day
From my internal structure
To my physical posture
I am dying inside and no one seems to care

The race that faded in people’s eyes

The sad reality was seen in that one element
I failed, I die because I failed
I feel the depth of every pain as it appears
I live to be me, to be heard
But the weight I carry is massive
I am not blind even though there’s not much to feed on
I am dying inside and the feeling is not real
Well, real, would torment

It would bring my insides closer to the eruption

I am dying inside and I still want to live
I still want to feel
I still want that sense and utmost happiness
Yet I am dying inside
Again and again, again and again.
I am dying inside…

You were my friend

You were my friend

You were my friend

Then you became my horror

You tattooed my back with wounds
They never seem to fade away
I’m pealing in shock to realize
That you were my friend

It hurts to even see the blisters

The aftermath of your burns
You were my friend
I seek for sunlight
When you used to provide shade

No tears would fall far from my soul

That overflowed with darkness
You were my friend
While befriended my enemies
Laughed harder than my haters
Words that painted a portrait that didn’t need colours

You were my friend

I never saw one in the mist of my troubles
The depth of my struggle
The small shape I became in your eyes
With that face that had a fake smile

You were my friend

And yet I still needed a friend
Not to confide nor defend
I just needed a friend to be a friend
You were my friend

The blood I shared was in vain

The battle was already decided
The polls were already in
The verdict was already said
Yet I stood there with a surprised face
Because you were my friend

No pen could define

No story could be told
No sin could be committed
In what was discovered

You were my friend

My eyes burnt and your life shined
I erased the beauty of my heart
To your vision I didn’t lose
You were my friend

My mind still thinks

Still sees and still feels
That you were my friend
Would we even ask the inevitable question?
Not only is it rhetorical
But it brings more sadness than smiles

You were my friend

And I still seek for a friend
Running around in search for you
When I actually left you in the presence of my enemies
The hurt that erupted on the side of my body
My back already filled with your signatures
Deep under my skin
Where you used to bring class and honor

You were my friend

But that never stopped you
You were my friend
Yet I still write about you
Do not ask why
Rather ask, why not.

You were my friend…

She...

 

She lay there still

She lay there still as my words travelled around her

She had no idea my words were trying to penetrate
As letters fell on her gentle skin
Just to formulate what reality symbolized in just words
She couldn’t see me even when I stood tall over her

The echo of her heartbeat ran around the room

She was still and yet I wished she could move
Move to the symphony of my words
Every one of them was created just for her
She needed to witness all of that

Those deep almost dead feelings that had me shaking

She lay there still and I continued to think around her
About her and for me
I longed for just hand gestures for proof of life
And I knew it was there

It was dark and her soul could brighten up the room

Her calmness that would melt icebergs
She lay there still while I tried to answer the unknown

My words were all I had

Swords that hurt
Spears that pierce through hearts

I just stood there and gazed

Flashbacks of when she was in motion
As she lay there still
I wonder the process of seeing different
The reality of that beating heart
The darkness that overwhelmed me
She lay there still

Does she rotate, roll or slide?

In my eyes no motion was required
All that happened through me
My thoughts and actions
My mind and heart
My hands and feet
My soul and my spirit
Will not matter without her being still

Pump, pump, pump

Pump that heart with emotions till it overflows
Emotions that run from the mind
Let it simmer in time as it matures like wine
Just to enjoy the sanity that reflects on her
She lay there still
And I still stood over her.

Why should I speak?

Why should I speak?

When words run through you like laser beams,
The same beams in the Star wars movie.
Why should I speak?
When you dissect every syllable
To match your own mental capacity.

Why should I speak?

When you decipher even the clearest wording.
Why should I speak?
When phrases become spears to you,
They stab you in ways that make them lose meaning.

Why should I speak?

When you fly to conclusions with no end point.
Why should I speak?
When ignorance has become your weakness,
Your surroundings motionless like the world is.

Why should I speak?

When even my grammar is not on point to you,
You google internally just to rid of all points.
Why should I speak?
When matters of the heart reside in a circus for you,
A clown created just to leave a frown.

Why should I speak?

When even alphabetically orderly sense never reaches you,
Your brain has a wall of China.
Why should I speak?
When mornings become the aftermath of your wrath,
The weight of reality and mental stability lose you.

Why should I speak?

Why should I paraphrase?
The systematic of human understanding to suit you,
When your narrow mind sees in thin vision.

Why should I speak?

When all I want is just to speak,
Just one line in a sentence,
A sentence in a not to happen paragraph,
When long before one word blasted a hole in the earth.

Why should I speak?

Why though,
When the depth of my excitement reached the North Pole
Where even lava from your condescending reply is solid.

Why should I speak?

Are you worthy of my mental compilation?
Why should I speak?
When you are just keen to slaughter the motion of this pen,

Will I know?

Will it matter?
Do you matter?
Oh why should I speak?

I fucked up

Yeah I did, very bad

Fell into a pit of the unknown
I got burned by fires that had no origin
I did that with shame and disgrace
I hurt the hurt that came back to hurt me

The need to breathe through
The nerve of wanting to survive
I was swallowed by undescribed events
Events of sorry and stupidity
Woke up with a pain on the side of my soul

As I search for a lane to run on
The reality that spoke to me in tongues
The clarity that rose from bleeding eyes
The beat that was shared as tears filled my palms
While at it, I saw an empty future
The reason to stop breathing
No joy was seen nor felt
I would run through archives of mislead words
Words that needed proper grounds to stand on
Shit I fucked up…!!!

Even my hands would not dig out this grave

Selfish thoughts that had me not brave
Pause, slow down, I need to save
Save the little space left in my soul
Just to redeem myself
This was not the aim, yes I said it.

I went to bed in an empty room
A room full of echoes that lead to banging walls
Shaking floors and a not so secure structure
This was to redefine self-hate
A bag full of regret dragged in a slow pace

I fucked up and saw today shatter between the pages of my life

No hard copy was available
There was nothing hard about my actions
Laser beam eyes that saw through time
From the sad present to the beginning of it all
I never felt a smile, just ripped apart from where I stood
Yes I said it…

I FUCKED UP!!!

I don't know

I don’t know where I was last night

All those hours I spent in no man’s land
No trace or memory of anything
I don’t know the place
Nor do I know the location
Been there through but still don’t know

I don’t know where I was last night

I couldn’t speak of it, the darkness was overwhelming
I don’t know why I went
How do I go to a place I don’t know?

This place is not known to people around me

Stories flying around which makes no sense
The question still stands, Where, Why, How?
The scenery said a lot
The pulse that never skipped a beat
The worry in my heart so heavy
That my mind ran over time

I don’t know where I was last night

Even though I saw the light of day
At the end of it all, I ran a race with no finish line
Hanging by a thread of questions with no answers
It took hours to return with my soul
The destination with no smile

I really don’t know where I was last night

Should I be happy that I returned?
Should I be questioning it all?
Spinning mind set on auto pilot
As heavy as my heart was, reality still saves time

I don’t know where I was last night

But I’m really glad that I went…

I don’t know

i am not naive

I am not naïve

I will not perpetuate a stereo type of mindless people
People who seek attention
I will not stoop any lower than the hurt bought forward
The spirit will always shine with smiles
Save me from the conceptual stupidity that runs in people’s blood
Souls which are not intended will never burn
Those intended will rise above,
Rise above with the intention to live and smile more

I am not naïve

The fire will always burn out
Not that it matters to some
But the observation of seeing a tree grow from ashes
It will overwhelm even the most heartless creatures
God sees the hurt and shares the pain
Yes, it never seem to be profitable
Because shallow minds only see in narrow visions
The power shown will not be to define
It will be to reintroduce

The pain will mellow in time

The frown will disappear
Beat the heart and listen to the power of reproduction
The power of humanity
Speed is always slow when intentions are mentally deranged

I am not naïve

I will look at stars while I count my blessings
Every breath of fresh air will be a symbol
Every sign will be clear
Forget about space when people’s mentalities are measured by actions and words
I am not naïve

Redefine your views and look at me again

Look at me closely.
I am not naïve….