Blank

BLANK

I am blank to the words
blank to the thoughts
my mind is in mist
where all is not clear
time will not save
places will not cement
my thoughts are lost
in time and in place.

I do not know the depth
I do not know the distance
but I know the darkness
the lightless time I spend
blank will define it better
these are not windows to my thoughts
but windows to what I see

hollow
blank
narrow
blank
deep
blank

I am not looking for answers
I have not asked the questions yet
I am not looking for change
I have not seen where it is needed
I am not looking for help
I have not started helping ME

blank right now
in all aspects of the word, blank.
be it definition or description

need to fill this
need some music
need some beat
that will beat parallel to my mind
music that will sooth me
music that will fill this blank

I want to know
I want to feel
something, even if it is just a little
this blank is getting blank on me...

Jump

 

that's all we do

we jump

we never see the bottom

and never know what awaits us

but we always jump

we have hope and faith

we know the ground is far

and yet again, we jump

that's all we know

that's all we need to know

jump

 

life is never certain

days are never promised

what we do, is what we believe in

no matter how hard

no matter how painful

we jump

we jump high

we jump low

we have no idea what tomorrow holds

but today all we do is jump

we jump in love

and jump into the unknown

but we are the masters at this

jump

 

no one ever said it would be easy

no one ever said don't ever jump

we are beings of that nature

we jump to figure out

we jump to learn

we jump for change

even if we land in sadness

we will jump again

we do not let enigmas dictate us

but instead we run faster

so that our jump is higher

we jump

that's all we do

 

we land in the most awkward situations

the painful of them all

the most piercing

with deeper cuts

because we decided to jump

we jump that's all we do

hope and faith always pulls us through

we are testing species

the try out and fail

the hit the wall hard

the burn in it

and brake it down

type of human beings

 

the way down is refreshing

pumped up lungs

shaking feet

blown away

loving the risk

 

that's all we do

we jump...

 

I want family

I'm tired of looking for friends
I'm tired of questioning loyalty
I'm tired of trying to figure out
I want family

I want people who know who they are
People who know what they want
I'm tired of parasites
blood sucking vampires
I want family

We cannot base things on what ifs
We cannot grow while stuck
Be you and I'll be me
Well everyone else is taken
I'm tired of stupid questions
where, why, with whom?
I want family

I'm tired of trying to prove a point
I'm tired of inconsistencies
I'm tired of people who fail to grow
Worse they make it your fault
I want family

I'm tired of doing things that are one-sided
I'm tired of non believers
I'm tired of being watched
I get tired when they fail to be patient
I want family

I'm tired of people who want to drag you down
I'm tired of people who want you to be them
I'm tired of people who think the sun revolves around them
I'm tired of having to follow around
I want family

You want to be my friend
Know that I don't want friends anymore
I'm tired of friends, really I am
I want family

Emancipate

do it for you
do it with pride
lose those thoughts
unchain that mind
your brain is in agony
the steepness of it all
you are hooked
release while you can

it will pound
it will ache
it will wonder
and yet it will not find

set it free as it will save you
ripped thoughts will not care
will you bare?
they will be tight as they engulf you
no direction will be in sight
no feeling will be felt

unhook
unchain
emancipate yourself
as your sanity will depend on it
the swelling will go down
the breakdown will not spare
these cells need to breathe
let them, feel them, give them change
the distance between them is near
no pores allowed
difference is what we fear

in the long run they will pierce you
strangle you while they bring you down
let loose
as it will be your sanctuary
your peace
your sanity
emancipate and unhook
emancipate and free yourself...

PAIN

PAIN

 

It hurts to think

Hurts even more to feel

The idea torments

The pounding of the heart is heavy
The pain rises

The mind stumbles

Pores blocked in question
Fingers tingle
Scratches off the earth within
The pain is so bitter

It fights a war

That competes with the  mind
Ripped inside out
The heartbeat fades
The knock feels hard
The head is on fire

Every question without a mark

No grammar to this pain
This bag is punched
As well it should
The pain will not disappear
At the back of your mind it will settle

This pain is severe

That people will not see it
In silence it will be mature
It will feast like a parasite
What is this pain that cannot be described?

These overwhelming feelings that bring tears

Tears that do not drop because of shame
Damn this pain
Whole body trembling
Hairs at the back of ones neck wave…

 

LIFE

We never know
No one told us
What we do is just go with the flow
We do things because our minds were programmed to do so
We go with the flow

Even when we still know the flow will not be smooth
We still go ahead and flow
We have faith
We have believe
Everything we go through is not planned

We could be going in the wrong direction
Believe it or not
We will still go

Some things are not meant to be understood
Some things are not meant to be explained
We gun for the easy way
and we always get the hardest of them all

TRUST
We trust God not to lead us astray
We trust God not to give us what we cannot handle
The flow might have some smoothness to it
but it never lasts

As we never know how it flows
We could be approaching a fall
and not knowing the depth
the height
and what to expect
It will be bumpy
It will be rocky
and we never think of drowning

These rocks hurt
This water is deep
This flow is not steady
but we in it for the kill...

We always strive for change
With the flow we always wish to end up where it is better
Let there be light
When the flow is in darkness
Let the doors open
When the walls get too tight
Let there be holes
When we feel to breathe

Change will emerge
It will happen when not expected
Change will simmer and pull us through
This flow will still remain
These rocks will not move
But your mindset will be different
you might not know why and how
but your mind will be your salvation

This flow is an enigma
Be prepared
Be sure
And swim your way to a different place...

In Me

It is not the words that are heard
the actions that have been witnessed
the riots that will define us

It will not be the thoughts that are engraved
the history that was missed
the words that we all ought to have heard at some point

It will not be the people who lie to us
the people who wish to see us fall
the people who have failure in them like it's air

It will not be the doings of what today is
It will be the actions of what happened in the past
Africa is the mother of it all
and with every syllable and thought we know for sure

My thoughts will squander in search
My mind will erupt around ignorant people
people who do not think the past matters
My mentality will bring them to shame
My words will cut through them
My ideas will pierce they small brains
ignorance will not surface
recognition will matter

Africa spoke and some of us listened
the beauty of it all
the sadness it bought to us
the torture we endured

We grew up and we learned
we grew up and we saw what lies do to us
what fake people bring to us

It is in me where Africa is
it is in me where these lands grow in population
it is in me where we still allow to be dragged

Listen to the grounds because they speak
every heartbeat we produce is real
every thought we have should be well constructed
The lies will always be here
fakeness will always exist
what we do with it will change our thoughts
how we act should be different

Africa rises in me
Africa beats these walls in me
Africa erupts in my mind
not because I am young
but because some will still debate
some will question my knowledge because I am young
they will ask "what do I know"?
the very same people who preach emptiness
who lead our minds to nowhere

I listen
I absorb
I learn
I apply

Africa in me has taught me that
Africa in me has showed me that
age does not matter
knowledge does

"I am not African because I was born in Africa but because Africa was born in me"